Do not say these words

Certain words are making children giggle. Giggling produces giggle-gas. And giggle-gas is bad for the planet. The Professor needs your help to save the world. Gigglesome words are banned, and are being replaced with boring, totally unfunny words. So you must never, ever say these dangerous words again. And you definitely can't giggle. OK? Try and keep a straight face from start to finish as you read this world-wobbling story. The future of the planet depends on it.